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  • Writer's pictureChris Mads

Edinburgh Festival Fringe: Best jokes 2017

If you're in touch with culture and theatre in the UK you have almost certainly heard of the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. Even if you're not that inspired by those pursuits the name is probably not entirely foreign to you. Like Glastonbury it is one of those event which has drifted into the public consciousness - and quite right too. For the uninitiated, Edinburgh Fringe is the world's biggest arts festival. Fouded in the 1940s as a counter to the Edinburgh International Festival, it is now one of the high poitns of the arts calendar. World-famous comedians take new shows up there, alongside actors and musicians either debuting new work or taking up an established production. One of the highlights for me is the annual "funny list" of the top jokes from that year.

Courtesy of Pixabay

So, without further ado, here is this year's top 15: > “I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.” - Ken Cheng > “Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There’s no way he could write a book.” - Frankie Boyle > “I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions. What’s the point?” - Alexei Sayle > “I’m looking for the girl-next-door type. I’m just gonna keep moving house till I find her.”- Lew Fitz > “I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the ‘brella’. But he hesitated.” - Andy Field > “Combine Harvesters. And you’ll have a really big restaurant.” - Mark Simmons > “I’m rubbish with names. It’s not my fault, it’s a condition. There’s a name for it …” - Jimeoin > “I have two boys, five and six. We’re no good at naming things in our house.” - Ed Byrne > “I wasn’t particularly close to my dad before he died ... which was lucky, because he trod on a landmine.” - Olaf Falafel > “Whenever someone says, ‘I don’t believe in coincidences’, I say, ‘Oh my God, me neither!’” - Alasdair Beckett-King > “A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men’s singles event.” - Angela Barnes > “As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting, but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer.” - Adele Cliff > “For me, dying is a lot like going camping. I don’t want to do it.” - Phil Wang > “I wonder how many chameleons snuck on to the Ark.” - Adam Hess > “I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act.” - Tim Vine

As ever, the list features some well-known names (Tim Vine is a regular and former winner) as well as some newer faces. Just for a bit of balance, here's a few of my other favourites which are doing the rounds.

> "I went to Paris. Nothing funny happened there. But Sara, why are you telling us this? Because otherwise that trip is not tax-deductible." - Sara Pascoe > "I really miss being a couple. No one ever says: 'You make a lovely single. It really suits you. I can see you being on your own for the rest of your life.'" - Seymour Mace > "I was going to have a poached egg for breakfast today but then I remembered the camera on my phone was broken, so I had a fried egg." Adam Hess > "It's so weird that Americans say 'eggplant' when they're called chickens." - Ian Smith > "There was this guy who confused superglue for lubricant. All his shells fell off the walls." - Chris Turner

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