• Chris

Ready for cinema's Final Score



Cut to city centre street.

A battered DeLorean explodes into view in a flash of smoke and flame, it swerves across the road and comes screeching to a halt next to a row of bins. A dazed Marty McFly stagers out of the car and looks about him.

Marty: Ok, so, 2018. Doc must be about here somewhere.

He looks around and his eyes come to rest on a cinema across the road.

Marty: So what films did 2018 come up with? A ninth Star Wars movie, another Predator remake, the tenth superhero film in six years and Final Score. What’s Final Score?

A Young Man passes behind him.

Young Man: Final Score? It’s about a former pro wrestler trying to save an Eastern European agent, played by an ex-James Bond actor, from other gangsters, while they watch a soccer match in London.

Marty: Sounds rad.

Ridiculous isn’t it? Imagine the crazy films they come up with for scenes like that.

Only none of these are fake. But Final Score is a truly special creation. If you’ve not seen the trailer, take a

look.


I mean, how brilliant does that look? In the worst possible way, of course, but just brilliant. I would love to have been in the room when someone dreamed that up. It must have been a 3 in the morning decision in the production company board room.

“We need one more. Anyone got any ideas?”

“What about the guy from Guardians of the Galaxy and James Bond at a soccer match in London? With silly accents.”

“Brilliant.”

Dave Bautista – or the artist formerly known as Batista to WWE fans – has hit gold as Drax in Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy, he has also had decent supporting roles in blockbusters such as Spectre and Blade Runner 2049. But he has never carried a film as the star – and this is an interesting start.

Pierce Brosnan has a stellar run with top films like The Thomas Crown Affair, Dante’s Peak, Mamma Mia, and the James Bond series. But I have no idea how this one came about.

Some trailers really get you excited for this film; but I’ll be honest, I kept waiting for this one to turn into an advert for a beer or a bank account. So I had to share it with you all.

It has actually been made. Strap in folks; Ray Stevenson and Pierce Brosnan have dodgy accents and Batista has to save the world by jumping a motorbike onto the football pitch.

Kick off was Friday. If you see it, please let me know how it was.

#opinion #culture #film #JamesBond

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