Donald Trump is trolling us all - and he's winning
The cameras pan through a palatial mansion into a vast dining room decorated in gold. In the centre stands a grinning figure with a mop of blonde hair and a badly-tied red tie, presiding over an enormous table piled high with burgers and pizzas.
"I bought it all myself," he declares proudly.
This, dear readers, is not a dodgy remake of Richie Rich, no; this is the President of the United States.
Yesterday Donald Trump hosted the National Championship winning Clemson University football team at the White House. Unfortunately due to the ongoing US Government shutdown over Trump's proposed border wall, the White House kitchen staff are not at their post at the moment. So the President stepped up and catered the event himself. He even lauded the fact it was "great American food", saying: "If it's American, I like it. It's all American stuff".
The Italians might whinge about him claiming pizzas, but let's not split hairs.
At this point I am convinced Donald Trump is just trolling us all.
Do you know who else once catered an important dinner with fast food? Richmond Valentine, the bad guy from Kingsman.
Seriously, in the 2015 film Valentine invites Colin Firth's secret agent to dinner at his house, where he serves McDonald's food on a silver platter.
The President of the US is literally taking pointers from a megalamaniacal supervillain in a James Bond pastiche. If you've not seen Kingsman (and you should have), Valentine goes on to try and kill half the world's population using brain-control mobile phones. His theory is that there are too many people on earth and he's trying to save the planet.
Richmond has a plan which he - in a weird, twisted and entirely wrong way - believes will save the world. I'm not sure what Trump's plan is now, but he has got Twitter and the media exactly where he wants them.
This isn't event the blog I was going to write today. On a day when there's a big Brexit vote and half the US Government isn't operating, Donald Trump is running the news agenda by being photographed with a stack of Big Macs.
He won the internet folks.*
*Currently his top contenders are a vegan sausage roll, a shaving advert and an egg.